Slut-shaming: A neologism used to describe the act of making any person feel guilty or inferior for certain sexual behavior or desires that deviate from tradition or orthodox gender expectations.
“If women want to be respected, they have to give us something to respect.”
We basically have to EARN the right to be treated like a human being? How about you respect every person you meet, regardless of whether they take pictures in their underwear or not, simply because they’re a human being?
“A girl worth kissing is not easily kissed”
The difficulty in kissing a girl usually depends more on who you are. Girls who kiss easily are not worth any less than girls who don’t. A woman’s worth is not determined by her sexual experience.
What’s the difference between venerating women for being fuckable and putting them on a purity pedestal? In both cases, women’s worth is contingent upon their ability to please men and shape their sexual identities around what men want. –Jessica Valenti
Women vs. Women
Using the tactical, deliberate, and highly effective method of reverse-psychology, society has successfully brainwashed a generation whilst implementing their patriarchal beliefs and ultimately conceiving a new breed of women. This ‘new breed’ is what I like to call 2014’s version of ‘The Stepford Wives.’ These are the females who put so much effort into being ‘good women,’ that they are completely oblivious to the camouflaged motives behind their morals. The women who take ‘pride’ in ‘not being like the rest.’ The ones who, in the sad, and usually unsuccessful, attempt to give themselves a self-esteem boost, coincidentally bring other women down.
Other women are not your competition.
You should be able to empower yourself without simultaneously degrading your own sex.
You’ll be able to find this recently developed, and disappointingly naive category of women in any social network you log-in to. While bragging about her conservative way of dressing, how well-behaved she is, or knowing how to properly take care of a husband, she is unaware of the fact that she is simply giving into patriarchal beliefs and becoming the submissive significant other that reactionary men admire. They are this slut-shaming subculture of women who bash others for how they choose to act.
In the words of Ms. Norbury (Tina Fey in ‘Mean Girls’):
“You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores!
It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores!”
However, just because these stuck-up ‘I’m better than you because I act like a lady and you don’t’ women exist, we cannot confuse them for the people who’s natural disposition is reserved. One of my closest friends is a very quiet person. She doesn’t drink and she wouldn’t wear anything too short or too tight, because she personally doesn’t like it. What is the difference between her and this new breed of women? She does not condemn other women who make alternative choices.
“We raise women to cater to the fragile egos of men.
We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller.
We teach girls shame – close your legs, cover yourself!
We make them feel as though by being born female they’re already guilty of something.
And so girls grow up to be women who cannot see they have desire.
They grow up to be women who silence themselves.
They grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think.
And they grow up – and this is the worst thing we do to girls –
they grow up to be women who turn pretense into an art form.“
–Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie “We Should All be Feminists”
Ladies, we already have the rest of the humanity against us – why are we also detrimental to each other? Cut the jealousy, drop the resentment and judgmental acts, and praise your nearest woman! Empower, improve, and congratulate each other.
Men vs. Women
There is really not much of an argument here. I know I have a lot of male readers and I just need you to get through your thick skulls that women are YOUR EQUAL. If you think you can explore your sexuality and live your life guilt-free, then find an untouched, submissive woman to settle down with when you’re done having your fun – you are sadly fucking mistaken (or at least I hope so). All this double-standard bullshit is getting sooo old.
Slut, n. A woman with the morals of a man.
Why aren’t men called sluts? And I don’t mean the ‘funny’ version of the word, which is what most males use. Calling a woman a slut is something purposely derogatory – calling a man one is usually taken as a joke.
What any woman does with her body is NONE of your business. To be more specific: how she dresses, who she dates, how often she has sex and with whom, should not be any of your concern – and talking about her will not make you any more relevant. If the way I dress bothers you, stop looking. We will not change the way we dress because it is more convenient for your lack of self-control. If you seriously choose to remove someone that makes you happy from your life because of her past, you’re a fucking idiot.
“We’ve been a taught a woman’s body will cause men to sin.
We’re told that if a woman shows too much of her body men will do stupid things.
Let’s be clear: A woman’s body is not dangerous to you.
Her body will not cause you harm. It will not make you do stupid things.
If you do stupid things, it is because you chose to do stupid things.
So don’t contribute to the fear that exists between men and women.
A woman, or any human being, should not have to dress to get your attention.
You should give them the full attention they deserve simply because they are a fellow human being.
On the other side, a woman should not have to feel like she needs to protect you from you.
You need to be in control of you.”
“How to See a Woman: A Conversation Between a Father and Son”
If I am tricked into going to a club, which usually happens as a result of someone’s birthday, I will most likely be the person sitting by the hookah, guarding the clutches. This is not for any other reason than the simple fact that I don’t like clubs. I rarely dance; I hate their standard choice of Hennessy, Grey Goose, or Black Label with Cranberry mix; it is way too loud for a conversation; and they’re ridiculously overpriced. That is MY personal opinion of clubs, and has nothing to do with anybody else. I’m more of a dirty martini over dinner or beer at a bar kind of girl.
Though this behavior says nothing about my personality, I get approached A LOT by morons claiming that I am the type of woman they’re looking for. I’m assuming that by ‘type of woman,’ they’re suggesting that I am a well-behaved robot because I’m not on the dance floor twerking like some of my friends. Little do they know, that the reason why I am not on the dance floor is not because I am his future wife in training, but because I’m fantasizing about doing jägerbombs or joining a chugging contest with the bartender.
My point is everybody has his or her own definition of fun. Just because I personally don’t dance on tables does not mean I am any more of a person than someone who does. Wearing a long dress doesn’t make you better than someone with a short one. Waiting four months to have sex vs. waiting four days will not make a difference, and letting loose at a party does not make you any less marriable than someone who chooses not to.
Self-respect, is exactly that – a person’s respect for THEMSELVES. What the fuck does that have to do with you? A woman can kiss 83 men and 14 women and still respect herself, so shut the fuck up already! Self-respect has nothing to do with sex or nudity. It has to do with making decisions that make you happy. If you are a virgin, that’s okay; and if you like casual sex, that’s also okay! Trust me, I DON’T CARE what you do, who you want to be with or what you want to look like (and you shouldn’t either).
Be happy, spread good vibes, and mind your damn business!